Isabelle had gone. Hester had gone. Charlie had gone. Now Miss Wiold me of further losses.
Up iic I leaned with my back against the creaking wall. I pressed baake it give, then released it. Over and over. I was tempting fate. What would happen, I wondered, if the wall came down? Would the roof cave in? Would the weight of it falling cause the floorboards to collapse? Would roof tiles and beams and stone e crashing through ceilings onto the beds and boxes as if there were ahquake? And then what? Would it stop there? How far would it go? I rocked and rocked, taunting the wall, daring it to fall, but it didn』t. Even under duress, it is astonishing just how long a dead wall will stay standing.
Then, in the middle of the night, I woke up, ears ajahe noise of it was finished already, but I could still feel it resounding in my eardrums and in my chest. I leaped out of bed and ran to the stairs, Emmeli my heels.
We arrived on the galleried landing at the same time that John, who slept i, arrived at the foot of the stairs, and we all stared. In the middle of the hallway the Missus was standing in her nightdress, staring upward. At her feet was a huge block of stone, and above her head, a jagged hole in the ceiling. The air was thick with gray dust. It rose and fell in the air, undecided where to settle. Fragments of plaster, mortar, wood were still falling from the floor above, with a sound like mice scattering, and from time to time I felt Emmeline jump as planks and bricks fell in the floors above.
The stoeps were cold, then splinters of wood and shards of plaster and m into my feet. In the ter of all the detritus of our broken house, with the swirls of dust slowly settling arouhe Missus stood like a ghost. Dust-gray hair, dust-gray fad hands, dust-gray the folds of her long nightdress. She stood perfectly still and looked up. I came close to her and joined my stare to hers. We gazed through the hole in the ceiling, and beyond that another hole in another ceiling and the another hole in another ceiling. We saw the peony aper in the bedroom above, the ivy trellis pattern in the room above that, and the pale gray walls of the little atti. Above all of that, high above our heads, we saw the hole in the roof itself and the sky. There were no stars.
I took her hand. 「e on,」 I said. 「It』s no use looking up there.」
I led her away, and she followed me like a little child. 「I』ll put her to bed,」 I told John.
Ghost-white, he nodded. 「Yes,」 he said, in a voice thick with dust. He could hardly bear to look at her. He made a slow gesture toward the destroyed ceiling. It was the slow motion of a drowning man dragged under by the current. 「And I』ll sort this out.」
But an hour later, when the Missus was , and in a fresh nightdress, tucked up in bed and asleep, he was still there. Exactly as I had left him. Staring at the spot where she had been.
The m, when the Missus did not appear i, it was I who went to wake her. She could not be woken. Her soul had departed through the hole in the roof, and she was gone.
『We』ve lost her,「 I told John i. 」She』s dead.「
His face didn』t ge. He tio stare across the kit table as though he hadn』t heard me. 「Yes,」 he said eventually, in a voice that did not expect to be heard. 「Yes.」
It felt as if everything had e to an end. I had only one wish: to sit like John, immobile, staring into spad doing nothing. Yet time did not stop. I could still feel my hear