港督回董建華的信

董建華寫信請辭行政局議員之職,港督彭定康當日的回信由政府部門附了中譯發給報刊去用。原信甚為得體,盡見港督心思;中譯雖然達意,畢竟蒼白了一點;通篇沒有適當的公文用語,顯得不倫不類。時代不同了,傳統的書牘格式和辭藻未必完全合用,再寫「緬想興居,極深馳系。湘省近事,迭以電陳,度已備邀英察」云云,似嫌迂腐。但是,港督信上"I"來"you"去,譯成「你」來「我」往,實在難看。避掉這堆白話,當見清貴之氣。港督說:"Thank you for your letter of today''s date. Whealked earlier this year, I said that I hoped that you would stay on the Executive cil for as long as you felt able to do so. As you know, I have always valued and respected your advice even, indeed particularlly, when our views differed, since you always gave that advice holy, impartially and ierests of Hong Kong. But we bhat a point might e when you felt that the tensioween your appoi as Vice-chairman of the Preparatory ittee and your pla ExCo became too great. I respect your judgement that you feel that that time has now e, and I therefore accept ynation from the Executive Coucil..." 政府的中譯云:「頃接今日來信,內容備悉。今年較早時,我曾與你商談。當時我說,只要你覺得能力所及,我希望你能一直在行政局留任。我向來很重視你的意見,相信你也知道:即使彼此看法不同,我對於你的不同見解尤為重視,因為你提出意見時,完全出於至誠,大公無私,並以香港的利益為依歸。但我們都了解,你身為行政局議員,又獲委任為籌委會副主席,終有一天,身兼兩職的壓力會大得難以應付。你認為現在已是退出行政局的時候,我尊重你的判斷,只好接受你的請辭。」

原信確有不少英文說法很不容易譯成像樣的中文,「今年較早時」是一例;「商談」當有賓語為宜;「能力所及」似嫌看低董氏才幹;「一直」也不甚妥。姑且試譯此段如下:「今日來信收悉,謝謝。月前晤談中齒及深盼先生應接有暇,盡量留任行政局之職;此議實因平素甚為重視高見,雙方觀點相違之時尤然,蓋先生從來坦誠進言,不偏不倚,以香港利益為重也。然言談間彼此亦深知身兼籌委會副主席及行政局議員之職,勢必格外吃力,終致不勝其荷。先生既感辭職合時,自當依照尊裁,准予所請。」官方譯本二百字有餘;這樣擰緊螺絲,減至一百四十幾字,讀來果然緊湊了些。

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