Mulan: Okay, okay, how bout this? Ahem, [in her manly voice] excuse me,where do I sign in? Hah, I see you have a sword. I have ooo. Theyrevery manly and tough [Mulan bites her lip as she mishandles pulling the swordout of the scabbard and it falls to the ground. Khan rolls on his balaughter. Mulan throws her shoe and hits Khan in the head with it quietingKhan]. Im w on it. Who am I fooling? Its going to take a miracle toget me into the army.
[Mushu appears as a giant shadow being cast on a rock with flames oherside. Mushus real appearance remains out of sight]
Mushu [in a Southern Baptist Preachers voice]: Did I hear someone ask for amiracle!? Let me hear you say aye!
Mulan [Running and hiding behind a rock]: Ahhhhhh.
Mushu: Thats close enough.
Mulan [from behind a rock]: Ghost.
Mushu: Get ready Mulan your serpentine salvation is at hand. For I havebee by your aors-- [notices Cri-Kee making a hand shadow of adragon on the rod stamps him down with his foot] to guide you throughyour masquerade. [bending down to Cri-Kee] , yonna stay yonna work. [returning to Mulan] Heed my word, cause if the army finds outthat you are a girl, the penalty is death. [big flames shoot up from therocks]
Mulan: Who are you?
Mushu: Who am I? Who am I? I am the guardian of lost souls. [Mulan smilesbig in anticipation of seeing her guardian] I am the powerful, thepleasurable, the iructible [ing out from the rocks to show his realsize] Mushu! Oh hah, hah, pretty hot, huh? [Khan stomps on Mushu. Mulanpushes Khan back]
Mulan: Ah, my aors sent a little lizard to help me?
Mushu: Hey, dragon, dragon, not lizard. I dont do that tohing [flipsout his too show Mulan what he means].
Mulan: Youre uh...
Mushu: Intimidating? Awe inspiring?
Mulan [making a haure to denote his smallness of size]: Tiny.
Mushu [with a look of disappoi]: Of course. Im travel size for yourvenience. If I was my real size, your cow here [patting Khan on the nose]would die ht. [Khan tries to bite Mushu] [pointing to the groundspeaking to Khan] Down Bessy. My powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance, [leaning in and looking at Mulans chest] my eyes seestraight through your armor. [Mulan cover her bust with her left arm andslaps Mushu with the right] Ow. [angrily] All right, thats it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family. [aside to Cri-Kee] Make a note of this[Cri-Kee grabs a leaf and a pen and starts writing]. [Loudly with gusto]Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your cow. Dis-
Mulan [pleadingly while c Mushus mouth]: Stop! Im sorry, Im sorry[kneeling down in front of Mushu]. Im just nervous. Ive never dohisbefore.
Mushu: Then yonna have to trust me. And dont you slap me no more, weclear on that? [Mulan nods emphatically]. All right. Okey dokey, lets getthis show on the road. Cri-Kee, get the bags [Mushu starts walking to thecamp]. [to Khas move it heifer.
[Cut to Mulan at the camps entrance]
Mushu [hiding in Mulans armor poking his head out from her back]: Okay thisis it, time to show em your man walk. Shoulders back, chest high, feetapart, head up [Mushu pulls Mulans head back] ...and strut 2, 3, break itdown, 2, 3 and work it, [Mulan walks into the camp drawing the attention themen who see her. Mulan walks into a tent and sees a man pig his nose andanother man pig out dirt from between his toes with chopsticks] Beautifulisnt it?
Mulan [making a face of disgust and tinuing