A POOR Relation -- is the most irrelevant thing in nature, -- a pieperti corresponden odious approximation, -- a haunting sce, -- a preposterous shadow, lengthening in the noontide of your prosperity, -- an unwele remembrancer, -- a perpetually recurring mortification, -- a drain on your purse, -- a more intolerable dun upon your pride, -- a drawback upon success, -- a rebuke to your rising, -- a stain in your blood, -- a blot on your scut, -- a rent in yarment, -- a deaths head at your ba, -- Agathocles pot, -- a Mordecai in yate, -- a Lazarus at your door, -- a lion in your path, -- a frog in your chamber, -- a fly in your oi, -- a mote in your eye, -- a triumph to your enemy, an apology to your friends, -- the ohing not needful, -- the hail in harvest, -- the ounce of sour in a pound of sweet.
He is known by his knock. Your heart telleth you "That is Mr. ----." A rap, between familiarity and respect; that demands, and, at the same time, seems to despair of eai. He eh smiling, and -- embarrassed. He holdeth out his hand to you to shake, and draweth it back again. He casually looketh in about diime -- wheable is full. He offereth to go away, seeing you have pany -- but is io stay. He filleth a chair, and your visiters two children are aodated at a side table. He never eth upon open days, when your wife says with some placy, "My dear, perhaps Mr.---- will drop in to-day." He remembereth birth-days -- and professeth he is fortuo have stumbled upon one. He declareth against fish, the turbot being small -- yet suffereth himself to he importuned into a slice against his first resolutioicketh by the port -- yet will he prevailed upon to empty the remainder glass of claret, if a stranger press it upon him. He is a puzzle to the servants, who are fearful of being too obsequious, or not civil enough, to him. The guests think "they have seen him before." Every one speculateth upon his dition; and the most part take him to be a tide-waiter. He calleth you by your Christian o imply that his other is the same with our own. He is too familiar by half, yet you wish he had less diffidence. With half the familiarity he might pass for a casual depe; with more boldness he would be in no danger of being taken for what he is. He is too humble for a friend, yet taketh on him more state thas a t. He is a wuest than a try tenant, inasmuch as he brih up -- yet `tis odds, from his garb and demeanour, that yuests take him for one. He is asked to make o the whist table; refuseth on the score of poverty, and -- resents bei out. When the pany break up, he proffereth to go for a coach -- ahe servant go. He recollects yrandfather; and will thrust in some mean, and quite unimportant ae of -- the family. He k when it was not quite so flourishing as "he is blest in seeing it now." He reviveth past situations, to institute what he calleth -- favourable parisons. With a refleg sort of gratulation, he will inquire the price of your furniture; and insults you with a special endation of your window-curtains. He is of opinion that the urn is the more elegant shape, but, after all, there was something more fortable about the old tea-kettle -- whiust remember. He dare say you must find a great venien having a carriage of your own, and appealeth to your lady if it is not so. Inquireth ~if you have had your arms done on vellum yet; and did not know till lately, that sud-such had been the crest of the family. His memory is unseasonable; his pliments perverse; his talk a