Anna will be w whats happeo me.
We could move to aable, I said, but I k was over, destroyed by a malevolent force beyond my trol.
See you later, said Jess cheerily.
And that was the last time I saw Kathy. If I were her, Id still be restrug the dialogue in my head, writing it down aing friends to act it out, looking for any kind of clue that would help me make sense of that breakfast.
You never know with Jess whether shes being sharp or lucky. When you shoot your mouth off as fast and as frequently as she does, youre bound to hit something sometime. But for whatever reason, she was right: Kathy wouldnt have happened without music. She was supposed to be a little pick-me-up, my first sihe band broke up - my first ever as a non-practig musi, because I was already in a band when I lost my virginity, and Ive been in a band ever since. So after she left, I started to worry about how this was ever going to work, and like whether Id be in some fug old folks home in forty years telling some little old lady with h that REMs manager had wao represent my band. When was I ever going to be a person - someoh maybe a job, and a personality that people could respond to? Its no fug use, giving something up if theres nothing to take its place. Say Id just kept talking about the books we were both reading, and wed never mentioned music… Would we still have goo bed? I could. It seemed to me that without my old life, I had no life at all. My morale-booster ended up making me feel totally fug crushed and desperate.
MAUREEN
We didnt really think anything of Martin missing his breakfast, even though breakfast was included. I was getting used to the idea that once or twice a day, something would happen that I wouldnt uand. I didnt uand what Jess had been up to the night before, and I didnt uand why there was a strange woman - a girl, really - sitting at our breakfast table. And now I didnt uand where Martin had gone. But not uanding dido matter very much. Sometimes, when you watch a cops and robbers film oelevision, you dont uand the beginning, but you know youre not meant to. You watyway, though, because in the end someone will explain some of the things to you if you pay close attention. I was trying to think of life with Jess and JJ and Martin as a cops and robbers film; if I did everything, I told myself not to panic. Id wait until someone gave me a clue. And anyway, I was beginning to see that it didnt really matter even if you uood almost nothing. I hadnt really uood why we had to say wed seen an angel, or how that got us on to the television. But that was all fotten about noarently, so why make a fuss? I must admit, I was worried about where everyone was going to sit at breakfast, but that wasnt because I was fused. I just didnt want Martin to think us rude.
After breakfast I tried to telephohe care home, but I couldnt manage on my own. In the end I had to ask JJ to do it for me, and he explaihat there were lots of extra o dial, and some you had to leave out, and I dont know what else. I wasnt being cheeky, using the telephone, because the others told me I could call once a day whatever the expeherwise, they said, I wouldnt relax properly.
And the telephone call… Well, it ged everything. Just those two or three minutes. More happeo me in my head during the telephone call than during all that time up on the roof. And it wasnt as if there was any bad news, or any news at all. Matty was fine. How could he