She woke to find a stranger shaking her arm, and then as Pantalaimon sprang awake and growled, she reized Thorold. He was holding a naphtha lamp, and his hand was trembling.
「Miss—miss—get up quickly. I dont know what to do. Hes left no orders. I think hes mad, miss.」
「What? Whats happening?」
「Lord Asriel, miss. Hes been almost in a delirium since you went to bed. Ive never seen him so wild. He packed a lot of instruments and batteries in a sledge and he harnessed up the dogs a. But hes got the boy, miss!」
「Roger? Hes taken Roger?」
「He told me to wake him and dress him, and I didnt think tue—I never have—the boy kept on asking for you, miss—but Lord Asriel wanted him alone—you know when you first came to the door, miss? And he saw you and couldnt believe his eyes, and wanted you gone?」
Lyras head was in such a whirl of weariness ahat she could hardly think, but 「Yes? Yes?」 she said.
「It was because he needed a child to finish his experiment, miss! And Lord Asriel has a ecial to himself ing about what he wants, he just has to call for something and—」
Now Lyras head was full of a roar, as if she were trying to stifle some knowledge from her own sciousness.
She had got out of bed, and was reag for her clothes, and then she suddenly collapsed, and a fierce cry of despair enveloped her. She was uttering it, but it was bigger than she was; it felt as if the despair were uttering her. For she remembered his words: the energy that links body and daemon is immensely powerful; and te the gap between worlds needed a phenomenal burst of energy....
She had just realized what shed done.
She had struggled all this way t something to Lord Asriel, thinking she knew what he wanted; and it wasnt the alethiometer at all. What he wanted was a child.
She had brought him Roger.
That was why hed cried out, 「I did not send for you!」 when he saw her; he had sent for a child, and the fates had brought him his own daughter. Or so hed thought, until shed stepped aside and shown him Roger.
Oh, the bitter anguish! She had thought she was saving Roger, and all the time shed been diligently w to betray him....
Lyra shook and sobbed in a frenzy of emotion. It couldrue.
Thorold tried to fort her, but he didnt know the reason for her extremity of grief, and could only pat her shoulder nervously.
「lorek—」 she sobbed, pushing the servant aside. 「Wheres lorek Byrnison? The bear? Is he still outside?」
The old man shrugged helplessly.
「Help me!」 she said, trembling all over with weakness and fear. 「Help me dress.
I got to go. Now.1 Do it quick!」
He put the lamp down and did as she told him. When she anded, in that imperious way, she was very like her father, for all that her face ith tears and her lips trembling. While Pantalaimon paced the floor lashing his tail, his fur almost sparking, Thorold haste her stiff, reeking furs and help her into them. As soon as all the buttons were done up and all the flaps secured, she made for the door, ahe cold strike her throat like a sword and freeze the tears at on her cheeks.
「lorek!」 she called. 「lorek Byrnison! e, because I need you!」
There was a shake of snow, a k of metal, and the bear was there. He had been sleeping calmly uhe falling snow. In the light spilling from the lamp Thorold was holding at the window, Lyra saw the long faceless head, the narrow eye slits, the gleam of white fur below