On our street, fourteen garbage s are now missing. The garbage s from Oeen and One een disappeared last night. This is not a serious matter, but oher hand we t sit up all night watg over arbage s. It is probably best described as an annoyance. Owelve, Owenty-two and Ohirty-one have bought new plastic garbage s at Barneys Hardware to replace those missing. We are thus down eleven garbage s, . Many people are using large dark plastic garbage bags. The new stru at the hospital at the end of the block has displaced a number of rats. Rats are not much bothered by plastic garbage bags. In fact, if I were ordered to imagine what might most profitably be ied by a ittee of rats, it would be the plastic garbage bag. The rats run up and down our street all night long.
If I were ordered to imagine who is stealing arbage s, I could not. I very much doubt that my wife is doing it. Some of the garbage s on our street are battered metal, others are heavy green plastic. Heavy green plastic or heavy black plastic predominates. Some of the garbage s have the numbers of the houses they belong to painted on their sides or lids, with white paint. Usually by someoh only the crudest sense of the art of lettering. One een, which has among its tenants a gifted ercial artist, is an exception. No one excessively famous lives on our street, to my knowledge, therefore the morbid attention that the garbage of the famous sometimes attracts would not be a factor. The Prect says that no other street within the prect has reported similar problems.
If my wife is stealing the garbage s, in the night, while I am drunk and asleep, what is she doing with them? They are not in the cellar, Ive looked (although I dont like going down to the cellar, even to replace a blown fuse, because of the rats). My wife has a yellow Pontiavertible. No one has these anymore but I imagine her lifting garbage s into the back seat of the yellow Pontiavertible, at two oclo the m, when I am dreaming of being on stage, dreaming of having to perform a drum certo with only one drumstick. . .
On our street, twenty-one garbage s are now missing. New infamies have been announced by Ohirty-ohrough One Forty-three -- seven in a row, and on the same side of the street. Also, depredations at One Sixteen and One Sixty-four. ut out dozens of s of D- but the rats ighem. Why should they go for the D- when they have the remnants of Ellen Busses Boeuf Rossini, for which she is known for six blocks in every dire? We eat well, on this street, theres no denying it. Except for the nursing students at One Fifty-eight, and why should they eat well, theyre students, are they not? My wife cooks soft-shell crabs, in season, breaded, dusted with tasty ne, deep-fried. Barneys Hardware has run out of garbage s and will not get another shipment until July. Any new garbage s will have to be purchased at Budget Hardware, far, far away on Sed Street.
Petulia, at Care ers, asks why my wife has been ag so peculiar lately. "Peculiar?" I say. "In what way do you mean?" Dr. Maugham, who lives at One Forty-four where he also has his office, has formed a ittee. Mr. Wilkens, from One een, Pally Wimber, from Owenty-nine, and my wife are on the ittee. The ittee meets at night, while I sleep, dreaming, my turn iting order has e up and I stand at the plate, batless. . .
There are sixty-two houses on our street, four-story brownstones for the most part. Fifty-twe s are now missing. Rats riding upon the ba