INT. DINER - DAY
This is a great place -- a major hub of social life in Hale. The
food is greasy and good, Mrs. Pressman is the waitress, and the
CROWD the essence of what is wonderful about a small town. Bob,
Maggie and Ike sit on the ter. Mrs. Pressman CHUFFS about
the luau, then moves around the er.
BOB
Mrs. Pressman, I think were ready to
order.
MRS. PRESSMAN
Were out the special because
somebody...
(indicates COOK with head)
... didnt order enough sausage.
BOB
Let me have the gardee. Egg
whites only.
Ike looks at Maggie. Hed bet a thousand bucks on what shed say
.
MAGGIE
Ill have the same.
IKE
(clears his throat)
Of course.
MAGGIE
What was that? I t order my eggs
without sarcasm?
BOB
ral ers you two. Youre on the
same team now. Any more fighting and
its fifteen minutes in the penalty box.
(gently, to Ike)
Maggies the person youll ever
meet. But shes always fog out
there. Shes got to start fog
more in here.
(taps his chest)
Thats why shes had some -- whatever
you want to call it -- problems in the
past.
(to Maggie)
Thats what were w on -- focus.
Right, Maggie? Foaggie. Focus
on Bob.
As Bob has been talking, Ike has been watg Maggies face.
The joy seems to have drained out of her.
MAGGIE
(quietly)
Right.
BOB
(to Ike)
I lead Maggie through a visualization
exercise. All the sports shrinks use
this head stuff. Visualize the end
zone, if you catch my drift.
Bob takes out a notepad and hands it to Maggie.
BOB (td)
Heres todays mantra: "Its an open
field to Big Bob."
IKE
Tell me. When you get to the altar,
will you spike the bouquet?
MAGGIE
You know, theres no...
Before Maggie finish, Ike intercepts her.
IKE
Well, Im off. A reporters work is
never done.
(heading to the door)
Mrs. Pressman, thank you.
MRS. PRESSMAN
Tootaloo.
INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - MOMENTS LATER
GRANDMA JULIA (V.O.)
Id like to explain about the weddings.
There are reasons why they didnt e
off. Three weddings, no "I dos". You
t believe how much cake we were
left with. I should weigh three
hundred pounds. I dont think her
father minded spending so much money on
booze that nobody drank.
We hear Grandma as through the hotel doors, we see Maggie exit
the diner. She gets a bag from ihe cab of her trud
es ihe hotel where she finds Ike talking to Grandma,
who is having tea with her friend, A.
MAGGIE
Ike... Hi, Grandma.
IKE
Gram here was going to give me the
skinny on why you run from marital
bliss.
GRANDMA JULIA
Right, cover your ears, a. Its
not that shes afraid of the wedding,
shes afraid of the wedding night.
I girls are terrified of "the
one-eyed snake".
(getting into it)
Why, when I was a virgin bride, I took
a knitting needle with me into the bed...
Ike winces.
MAGGIE
Actually, Grandma, I charmed the one-
eyed snake awhile ago.
GRANDMA JULIA
Oh, yeah, I fot. Ill tell you one
thing, yrandpa didnt fet that
wedding night.
(a)
Y