INT. DINNING ROOM/MAGGIES HOUSE - NIGHT
The family dog, Skipper, steals food from the table. Walter
scolds him. Walter whacks his crab with his hammer and Ike
copies him.
WALTER (td)
Emma and I were only blessed with one
child, not for lag .
MAGGIE
This is good, Dad, dont leave anything
out.
Ikes hammer flies out of his hand. He goes to pick it up.
WALTER
So Ive e to see it as a bonus,
really, that weve been able to plan,
and pay for, so many weddings.
MAGGIE
Not this ohis ones on me.
Walter reacts.
IKE
Thats fair.
MAGGIE
Despite what you think, I dont do it
on purpose. And I have no iion of
doing it again.
BOB
Thats right, Maggie. Just keep your
eye on the ball.
Ike raises his eyebrows iion. Bob explains.
BOB (td)
Sports psychology. It was my major in
college.
IKE
Ahh.
BOB
(false modesty)
Im the towns unofficial fitness
trainer. Big advocate of the mind and
body bining for success. You could
say or you quote me, Im a glass
half full king of guy.
MAGGIE
(boasting)
Bobs the head of the P.E. department
at the high school. And he coaches the
football team. And hes climbed
Everest.
To Maggies satisfa, Ike shoots Bob a look of begrudging
respeobody whos been up Everest is a total .
IKE
(impressed)
Everest. Is that right?
MAGGIE
Twice...
IKE
Really?
MAGGIE
(stig it to Ike)
Without oxygen...
BOB
My girl likes t about me.
Bob and Maggie kiss Ike two little love-birds.
BOB (td)
Im takirekking on Annapurna on
our honeymoon.
Ike is highly amused.
IKE
How romantic.
MAGGIE
(sharply)
We think so.
IKE
Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed
with two Sherpas and a yak.
Walter cracks up, Maggie shoots Ike a look. He smiles back.
CUT TO:
INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM/INT. FISHER AND ELLIES BEDROOM (NYC)
I TELEPHONE VERSATION
Fisher and Ellie are exerg. Fisher is on a cycle mae.
Ellie does yoga stretches. Ike sits ba the couch, puts on
his glasses and watches a video taped wedding playing oV
s. Superimposed titles read "Brian Norris wedding."
IKE
(to Fisher; into phone)
You wont believe what Im looking at,
Fisher. A videotape of all three train
wrecks.
THE TV - CLOSE
Two flirls and Peggy enter a crowded church where the
groom, Brian, and his best man wait at the altar.
Now we see Maggie e down the aisle, then ast the altar.
We see Maggie move away another aisle and out of the church.
SHOCKED WEDDING GUESTS rise in horror, as she runs from this
first wedding. She drags the train boy up the sed aisle as
she leaves. Ike hangs up. He gets up to pick up the remote and
then sits back down to watch.
The tape fast-forwards to the wedding. Now Ike is looking
at a much more relaxed, hipper, backyard wedding. It says,
"Gill Chavez Wedding". He hits the fast-forward button
(sometimes slowing down).
ON TV:
We see the Carpenters backyard. It is Gill and Maggies
wedding day. The yard is crowded with a MIXTURE of Hells
Aypes, Deadheads and townspeople. The "altar" is a band